On one hand, I am absolutely ecstatic because I began my professional "journey" tomorrow. And on the other, I know that many of my peers are still in the midst of the job search. While it can be easy to put a smile on your face as you pat the backs of your peers who have secured jobs, is there some part of your soul that is secretly crying in angst? Or maybe there are some out there floating out there on the "it's going to happen in time wave."
I had nightmares of being the last person in my cohort to get a job. Or worst, the one who didn't get one. at. all. The high placement rate of my program's grads was not enough to qualm my fears.
My job process was serendipitous. I came to learn about my job from a professional I had done an informational interview with a year before. It was a topsy turvy process and a few more options were thrown in the mix from other professionals I knew. It was relieving and anxiety provoking. Relieving because my reputation had preceded itself. But anxiety provoking because I was deathly afraid that I wouldn't live up to the expectations people had of me. To be cautious, I applied to several outside jobs and from January to April experienced a steady flow of rejection.
It was a really difficult time. That and the overwhelming stress of my final semester of grad school AND my persistent fear that I was never going to get a job really started to wear on my spirit. I would like to say things started to fall together into a perfect wonderful lovely job, but that is not exactly true. I guess I could equate it to having a garden. You do all this work (okay, I don't garden so this is going to be a struggle) and you plant and do whatever you do and then you just sit back and wait. The tough part is that all the "magic" (or whatever happens) is happening under the soil, where you can't see it, and you just have to wait till some little pop of life emerges from the soil to validate all of that time and effort you poured into your garden. When you see it, it's a surge of relief but really that little life has been developing far before you knew it existed. And it all begin with you and your work and your hope. I guess that is what the job search can be like. Because those most anxiety ridden moments are happening when you're waiting. Waiting for an interview, waiting for a call, waiting for your application status to change. And it can seem like nothing is happening at all BUT IT IS. That is, of course, because you are watering and plowing and doing whatever gardeners do.
After I accepted my job, I got two interviews for jobs that I would LOVE in wonderful locations. I feel thankful that I'm really really happy with my job, but I keep thinking of if I had let my job search been guided by fear. If I had foreclosed on a job too early because I was afraid nothing else would come along. It can be easy for me to say that, coming from a place where my job search is done-zo, but there is still truth to staying true to who you are and who you want to be.
So don't stop believing in the little life you have growing beneath your feet, the hope of some awesome amazing job. You've done the work and it's on it's way. It's on its way.
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