Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Looking for Life, Love, and Laughter...and a Job #20


Yay, actual updates! To begin, I shall do a revised "by the numbers" since that seemed to be a big hit (and by that I mean my friends who I disclosed I am writing this to really seemed to like it, and I like it, so yeah.)...

My Job Search By The Numbers
Days since I began applying: 188

Days until I am a “Master”: 3

Days until I really freak out if I don’t have a job: 86

Applications Put In: 25

First-Round Interview Offers: 4

Second-Round Interview Offers: 2

Anddddd I think we’ll stop there because I’m feeling pretty optimistic right now!
So, basically, good things came from a couple of my interviews last week. I have an on-campus on Monday, and I got a call from another institution today offering an on-campus. Pretty cool. I also have a top pick…which I am interviewing for on Monday…and if I get that position…well, I guess I’m done! Crazy to think it might just end all of a sudden.

And good things have been happening for my wonderful friends! I have one who had a first-round Skype interview yesterday and they literally flew him out for an on-campus TODAY, another got her first on-campus offer today, and one of my wonderful roomies accepted a position today! What fantastic things!!

AND on top of those things, I’m FINISHED with my Master’s degree! Hooding is on Friday, but I turned in my final paper yesterday! So excited to finally be done (at least for a little while). I have a few work projects I am wrapping up, but it’s weird to not feel constantly overwhelmed by my to-do list! I actually read a book for fun!

Overall, things are good right now. Interviews are coming in, friends are having successes that make me so happy for them, I’ve earned a Master’s degree and get to celebrate that with my family and people that I love in the very near future…so why am I so not happy right now? Ugh. I don’t get it. I know it most likely has to do with biology factors that are out of my control, but learning to accept that is a pain. I have all of these wonderful things happening, which then makes me feel even worse/more guilty about being in a rough patch with my emotions/mental state/whatever. Is that weird? Also I know that change and uncertainty is triggering for me, and regardless of the exciting-ness that is this process, it’s all about change and uncertainty…and as much as I can cognitively try to ignore that, it’s still there. It’s frustrating. Like, really frustrating.

But I didn’t come here to complain, and that’s not what you want to hear about anyway. Besides, I have things to do! A hooding ceremony and fun times with family and friends to get ready for, work projects to wrap up, interviews to prep for (and finish my outfits for!!), and a pleasure reading list a mile long ;) Plus soaking up these last few days of not being a professional….it’s crazy to think about!

For some reason, this quote sprang to mind when I was trying to figure out how to close this post, both for readers and for me (writing here is a very…reflective/emotive/etc. process for me), so I’ll just leave it right here…

When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid. – Audre Lorde

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