Hello there, friends. Apologies for my delayed absence, as usual...but...I have news! And now that things seem to actually be happening, I'll be motivated to post more frequently since I'll actually have things to say. So, hooray! Keep coming back for updates -- I'll try to leave some cliffhangers :)
Okay, so first things first. You know the old adage "A watched pot never boils"? Well, I'm shifting it up -- it shall now be "A watched phone never rings". Over the past 2 days I've been jumping out of my skin just about every time I hear a phone go off....so....yes, I am waiting on a call.
Let me tell you this strange story that happened. There happens to be a vacancy at my current institution in the area that I want to go into - coordinator position...good stuff. The person who was in the position left back in October, and at the time there was some confusing talk about hiring an interim (me), and I was encouraged to go ahead and submit my application. I submitted it in October. It sat there, somewhere in the cyber universe, quietly waiting. When I was finally contacted and offered a phone interview in February, I had moved on, was frustrated with the process, and fed up with my current location, so I declined the offer. So, the end. Right? Wrong. Evidently a candidate has not been found yet, and last week I was contacted and asked to "come in and talk about my interest in the position" -- so, an interview. I took it, and I think it went pretty well. Not my best (I rambled too much), but pretty well. And let me tell you something....the more I have reflected on it, I REALLY want this position. I really, truly do. I know it would be full of challenges, but also full of amazing opportunity. I also recognize that it would be stupid to turn down direct experience in the field I want to go into, especially since my GA experiences have not been directly in that area. And...I don't hate my location as much as I thought. It has some good points. And I have people here that I care a lot about, so that's a plus...
So anyway, at the end of the interview the interviewer made it very clear that this would be an expedited process...and if they want to move forward with me, I honestly thought I would hear something like yesterday, or today at the latest. I don't know if I'm being silly by thinking they would move that quickly, and I should relax...or if they decided I'm not going to be a good fit? Ugh, it's driving me nuts. I think this is MUCH worse than just having applications out there in cyberspace....there's like another level of investment that makes it worse. So, yeah...that's where I am right now.
In other news, during the 5 minutes that I haven't been staring at my phone willing it to ring (aka when I was in the Taco Bell drive-thru...don't judge, I'm having stressful times right now), I got a call from another institution offering me a phone interview, which I have scheduled for Thursday morning. It's a very different institution than I am used to...and a VERY different location, but it's an interview! Hooray! In less hooray news...I've also gotten 2 email rejections in 2 days. One I was not surprised by, but one I was pretty bummed about.
So that's where my search is. I have about 25 positions on my spreadsheet to apply for still, but it's hard to sit down and do them when I really want to hear back about this one position, plus I have just ONE 6 page paper left to my academic Master's career!!! But I need to sit down and get it done.
Now, let's talk about my friends/colleagues/cohort mates for a minute. First, I did a little counting, and as far as I know, 9 of 48 in my cohort have jobs at this point. Okay, so those odds make me feel a little better, right? We also heard some tough news this week - I have a close friend who did TPE and has had a couple of on-campus interviews following, and there was an institution that they were totally in love with....who hired someone else. Someone we know (though not in our cohort). And while I think they are dealing with it pretty well - it's very clear that since the institution went with this particular individual they are looking for something VERY different than what my friend has to offer...but still, it's been tough. Also, I happened to be the one to see it on Facebook and brought it to their attention thinking they already knew....and I feel super guilty about that. Oops. But in happy news, one roommate had another successful on campus last week, the other has 2 first-rounds this week, my "Mom" has a first-round....good things are happening!
So...that's where things are. Now that I'm FINISHED with CLASSES (and only one paper left to write!), I'll try to be more diligent. Also, hopefully I'll have things to talk about!
Also, I'm glad that this blog has been helpful/supportive/affirming/positive/all kinds of happy things to some folks out there also on the job search -- keep commenting! Comments make me feel warm and fuzzy inside :) And if you're not job searching and reading this to either prepare for the future or laugh about a process that you are thankful not to be in right now...well, keep sending those good vibes out into the universe for us!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
A Wish Your Heart Makes 16
Rejection.
I meant to write this post right after I got the phone call but I thought I would give my self some time to process.
Instead I jotted some of my thoughts down on little pieces of paper as a form of shock therapy. I even googled a bunch of information on job rejection and found some surprisingly good information that really helped me feel like I wasn't going insane.
Literally, the thing I was most afraid of happening happened. I didn't get the job I had poured my whole heart into and it really sucked. I had to bite my lip on the phone to keep from bursting into tears. But as soon as I hit that end button I let them all flow and I just sat there and threw myself the biggest pity party of one. I immediately texted my friends and mentor because I could feel myself slipping into an abyss of depression that I wasn't sure I could get out off.
I started to believe all of my negative thoughts about myself, went over all the ways I had possibly failed, thought of all the ways I could have interviewed better, let myself believe that the world was ending before I zapped back into reality.
As if on cue, the flood of reassuring texts and phone calls flooded in bringing me back to reality and some logical thinking. Of course there is going to be rejection, I had been on the other part of the table and I knew the odd juggle you do to find the best fit candidate. Some times you have to let some really good balls drop and it doesn't mean they aren't awesome, just that they are not the right balance of whatever you were looking for.
I thought of some achievements I had made that year, gosh, even that week. And I resolved that even though I didn't get the job, I had an amazing interview.
It still hurt, that was real, and I really felt like such a failure. And, seriously, it was like every shortcoming in my life rose to the surface in that moment and I couldn't have felt worse about myself.
But I started to wipe away the confetti from the pity party and reflect on the conversation. They said they loved me and the candidate they went with was already doing the work they needed the candidate to do. Fair. How could I not want the best candidate for a job I loved so much. And then there was something else, they told me they would still like to work with me and let me know about some other positions in the office.
I was still too much in a grieving process to let that last fact set in. Even when I looked at the other job and realized that it was a perfect fit and I absolutely loved it.
It took me a weekend to really sort out my feelings. In some ways I felt free to start the search again and see what the world had to offer. But I came to realize that I loved this institution and office and that something just felt right about this.
Of course I had to talk to everyone and their imaginary friend to process what I already knew to be true: I was going to apply to that job.
I mean that's a good way to end that story, and now I start the waiting game again. I also looked at jobs at other institutions but there is something drawing me to this institution in a way I can't fully explain. And so here we go again, be still my fragile heart. Unrequitted love is a rough ride. In honor of trying to resist the love (did I post this one already, ha)
Until Next Time
I meant to write this post right after I got the phone call but I thought I would give my self some time to process.
Instead I jotted some of my thoughts down on little pieces of paper as a form of shock therapy. I even googled a bunch of information on job rejection and found some surprisingly good information that really helped me feel like I wasn't going insane.
Literally, the thing I was most afraid of happening happened. I didn't get the job I had poured my whole heart into and it really sucked. I had to bite my lip on the phone to keep from bursting into tears. But as soon as I hit that end button I let them all flow and I just sat there and threw myself the biggest pity party of one. I immediately texted my friends and mentor because I could feel myself slipping into an abyss of depression that I wasn't sure I could get out off.
I started to believe all of my negative thoughts about myself, went over all the ways I had possibly failed, thought of all the ways I could have interviewed better, let myself believe that the world was ending before I zapped back into reality.
As if on cue, the flood of reassuring texts and phone calls flooded in bringing me back to reality and some logical thinking. Of course there is going to be rejection, I had been on the other part of the table and I knew the odd juggle you do to find the best fit candidate. Some times you have to let some really good balls drop and it doesn't mean they aren't awesome, just that they are not the right balance of whatever you were looking for.
I thought of some achievements I had made that year, gosh, even that week. And I resolved that even though I didn't get the job, I had an amazing interview.
It still hurt, that was real, and I really felt like such a failure. And, seriously, it was like every shortcoming in my life rose to the surface in that moment and I couldn't have felt worse about myself.
But I started to wipe away the confetti from the pity party and reflect on the conversation. They said they loved me and the candidate they went with was already doing the work they needed the candidate to do. Fair. How could I not want the best candidate for a job I loved so much. And then there was something else, they told me they would still like to work with me and let me know about some other positions in the office.
I was still too much in a grieving process to let that last fact set in. Even when I looked at the other job and realized that it was a perfect fit and I absolutely loved it.
It took me a weekend to really sort out my feelings. In some ways I felt free to start the search again and see what the world had to offer. But I came to realize that I loved this institution and office and that something just felt right about this.
Of course I had to talk to everyone and their imaginary friend to process what I already knew to be true: I was going to apply to that job.
I mean that's a good way to end that story, and now I start the waiting game again. I also looked at jobs at other institutions but there is something drawing me to this institution in a way I can't fully explain. And so here we go again, be still my fragile heart. Unrequitted love is a rough ride. In honor of trying to resist the love (did I post this one already, ha)
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Looking for Life, Love, and Laughter...And a Job #18
Ugh....really? It's been 11 days? What the hell am I doing with my life? You would think that keeping my email about blogging in my inbox, staring at me accusingly every day would keep me going, but it's been tough. Sorry followers, I'll be better!
To my blog counterpart, congratulations on the on-campuses! To my followers....well, sorry this is a post from me because I guarantee it is much less exciting. Ha.
My number of job interviews since last post = ....wait for it.....ZERO! Hooray!!!! Ugh.
I'm trying really hard not to get down about things, but it's a little frustrating when it seems like everyone around me has an interview a week. Our program director is like super supportive and full of rainbows and sunshine and keeps telling us how this is an unprecedented year in the search process, that no cohort has every had so many interviews this early in the game, how it's totally fine if we aren't getting floods of emails and calls yet....right. Still tough to be one of the ones needing the reassurance. If any of you out there just want to send me random messages offering me interviews, that would be great.
In a sick way though, it's kind of fun. The commiserating part, I mean. All of the second-years in my program are basically in the same boat, so we always have something to talk about. We all are trying not to scream at parents every time they ask "how's the job search?", trying to remember that we should probably at least attempt to finish strong at work, trying to pretend we don't check our personal work inboxes at least 5 times more than we used to hoping for some kind of notice....I don't know. Maybe I sound crazy. But I'm pretty sure I'll look back on this time and laugh about all of our nonsense, and I'll be nostalgic about it too. It makes me sad that my best friend from the program is already off and working his little heart out -- like he's missing out on some sick version of fun.
Anyway, moving on. I guess it's a positive thing that the majority of applications I have submitted are at least still in process or something -- like, I'm not getting active rejections. That's something, right? Woo - positivity!
In other news...well, there's not a lot. We are officially in banquet/stress season, so I will be wearing a garbage bag to hooding to accommodate the 900 pounds I will gain between now and then. Come at me, pizza. Umm...I have 3 more assignments for classes. Just THREE. But my motivation to do them is at absolute zero. My final paper is for this one class where I've definitely been ummm "phoning it in" all semester (do people even say that?!?!) -- I wonder if my professor will notice if I write the entire thing in a wine haze the night before it's due? That's a good idea, right?
Kids, professionals with their lives together, potential employers, parents, current first-years in student affairs....whoever is out there....don't judge me. It's not nice.
So yeah, that's where things are right now. Tonight I was working at my office (yes, it's Sunday), and I had to leave at 9:00 pm because I was alone and I laughed for 10 minutes straight listening to Jim Gaffigan on Spotify. I almost passed out from laughing so hard, so I left, because I didn't want my body to be found at my desk tomorrow morning. Talk about awkward. Let me see if I can find that gem for you...Okay, can't find the video. But if you have Spotify...Jim Gaffigan, Mr. Universe, track 12 - Subway. That and a bottle of $4 Moscato...you've got yourself a night, darling.
To my blog counterpart, congratulations on the on-campuses! To my followers....well, sorry this is a post from me because I guarantee it is much less exciting. Ha.
My number of job interviews since last post = ....wait for it.....ZERO! Hooray!!!! Ugh.
I'm trying really hard not to get down about things, but it's a little frustrating when it seems like everyone around me has an interview a week. Our program director is like super supportive and full of rainbows and sunshine and keeps telling us how this is an unprecedented year in the search process, that no cohort has every had so many interviews this early in the game, how it's totally fine if we aren't getting floods of emails and calls yet....right. Still tough to be one of the ones needing the reassurance. If any of you out there just want to send me random messages offering me interviews, that would be great.
In a sick way though, it's kind of fun. The commiserating part, I mean. All of the second-years in my program are basically in the same boat, so we always have something to talk about. We all are trying not to scream at parents every time they ask "how's the job search?", trying to remember that we should probably at least attempt to finish strong at work, trying to pretend we don't check our personal work inboxes at least 5 times more than we used to hoping for some kind of notice....I don't know. Maybe I sound crazy. But I'm pretty sure I'll look back on this time and laugh about all of our nonsense, and I'll be nostalgic about it too. It makes me sad that my best friend from the program is already off and working his little heart out -- like he's missing out on some sick version of fun.
Anyway, moving on. I guess it's a positive thing that the majority of applications I have submitted are at least still in process or something -- like, I'm not getting active rejections. That's something, right? Woo - positivity!
In other news...well, there's not a lot. We are officially in banquet/stress season, so I will be wearing a garbage bag to hooding to accommodate the 900 pounds I will gain between now and then. Come at me, pizza. Umm...I have 3 more assignments for classes. Just THREE. But my motivation to do them is at absolute zero. My final paper is for this one class where I've definitely been ummm "phoning it in" all semester (do people even say that?!?!) -- I wonder if my professor will notice if I write the entire thing in a wine haze the night before it's due? That's a good idea, right?
Kids, professionals with their lives together, potential employers, parents, current first-years in student affairs....whoever is out there....don't judge me. It's not nice.
So yeah, that's where things are right now. Tonight I was working at my office (yes, it's Sunday), and I had to leave at 9:00 pm because I was alone and I laughed for 10 minutes straight listening to Jim Gaffigan on Spotify. I almost passed out from laughing so hard, so I left, because I didn't want my body to be found at my desk tomorrow morning. Talk about awkward. Let me see if I can find that gem for you...Okay, can't find the video. But if you have Spotify...Jim Gaffigan, Mr. Universe, track 12 - Subway. That and a bottle of $4 Moscato...you've got yourself a night, darling.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
A Wish Your Heart Makes 15
As my counterpart has expressed, I am amazed at how fast the weeks have gone by and doubly shamed that I have neglected my twice a week commitment. Although, at this point I forgive myself. I do a million things everyday. I juggle a million balls and a million commitments and still manage to have achievements each day (yay, got a shower in). What is this pressure I feel to be so on top of EVERYTHING, when nothing about grad school makes any sense? So I forgive myself and I hope you forgive yourself too.
It has been an exhausting few weeks. I had an on campus two weeks ago today. I've heard from a couple of people that they were called for reference checks and I feel both excited and scared. I know they said positive things but now I know if I don't get it I will wonder wonder wonder WHY? This state of constant worry and anxiety has been plaguing me all semester. My doctor even urged me to go on medication. I was at first reluctant but there were mornings when the crushing anxiety about the day was so overwhelming I couldn't get out of bed. So on the medication I went.
I have a lot of languages for issues that come up on my life. Yet, no concrete language about my mental health. There have been points in grad school when I wasn't sure if I was on the verge of some sort of mental break or just feeling stress. That's a scary place to be and can be the difference between managing the stress and regaining my life back or shrinking further and further into the recesses of my own angst. So I've been more intentional over the past few weeks about regaining some control over my stress, angst and overall mental health.
It's timely because there is a lot going on and it all triggers very intense emotions for me. Things ending, things beginning, transitions, change, competitive job search environments, feeling the need to succeed. It doesn't help that most people who I spend time with are in the same angsty position. I need to finish strong and get out of this process in a healthy and intact way, ahha. So I've come up with a new mantra:
The anxiety has no meaning.
I say this whenever my anxious worry thoughts start to cloud my mind. I repeat it until I come back to the present where I can either make a plan or just sit in the uncertainty that is sometimes life. Saying the anxiety has no meaning does not mean that there aren't real life issues at stake with finding a job, graduating and being successful. It simply says to the anxiety and my mind that the anxiety is not helping when it becomes bigger than me, it is not something I need to explore and understand. It just is and it has no meaning. It has proven to be a helpful exercise that has kept me grounded as I wait for some knowledge about what my next steps will be.
This job search process doesn't define me and neither does the graduate school experience. They are apart of my life but they do not define my life. As long as I stay an active and conscious participant in the life that is unfolding before me, I will be ok. Or I won't. But whatever. The anxiety has no meaning. It's sort of like when I was a kid and I would start to fear there was a monster under my bed. Reminding myself of that implausibility helped me get a good night sleep. Reminding myself that the anxiety has no meaning and does not need to define me is helping me have a good life.
It's going to fine. Or it won't. But it won't define you.
Hakuna Matata peeps.
Until Next Time
It has been an exhausting few weeks. I had an on campus two weeks ago today. I've heard from a couple of people that they were called for reference checks and I feel both excited and scared. I know they said positive things but now I know if I don't get it I will wonder wonder wonder WHY? This state of constant worry and anxiety has been plaguing me all semester. My doctor even urged me to go on medication. I was at first reluctant but there were mornings when the crushing anxiety about the day was so overwhelming I couldn't get out of bed. So on the medication I went.
I have a lot of languages for issues that come up on my life. Yet, no concrete language about my mental health. There have been points in grad school when I wasn't sure if I was on the verge of some sort of mental break or just feeling stress. That's a scary place to be and can be the difference between managing the stress and regaining my life back or shrinking further and further into the recesses of my own angst. So I've been more intentional over the past few weeks about regaining some control over my stress, angst and overall mental health.
It's timely because there is a lot going on and it all triggers very intense emotions for me. Things ending, things beginning, transitions, change, competitive job search environments, feeling the need to succeed. It doesn't help that most people who I spend time with are in the same angsty position. I need to finish strong and get out of this process in a healthy and intact way, ahha. So I've come up with a new mantra:
The anxiety has no meaning.
I say this whenever my anxious worry thoughts start to cloud my mind. I repeat it until I come back to the present where I can either make a plan or just sit in the uncertainty that is sometimes life. Saying the anxiety has no meaning does not mean that there aren't real life issues at stake with finding a job, graduating and being successful. It simply says to the anxiety and my mind that the anxiety is not helping when it becomes bigger than me, it is not something I need to explore and understand. It just is and it has no meaning. It has proven to be a helpful exercise that has kept me grounded as I wait for some knowledge about what my next steps will be.
This job search process doesn't define me and neither does the graduate school experience. They are apart of my life but they do not define my life. As long as I stay an active and conscious participant in the life that is unfolding before me, I will be ok. Or I won't. But whatever. The anxiety has no meaning. It's sort of like when I was a kid and I would start to fear there was a monster under my bed. Reminding myself of that implausibility helped me get a good night sleep. Reminding myself that the anxiety has no meaning and does not need to define me is helping me have a good life.
It's going to fine. Or it won't. But it won't define you.
Hakuna Matata peeps.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Looking for Life, Love, and Laughter...And A Job #17
So, I have been thinking about numbers lately, for some reason, when it comes to my job search. Additionally, every time I write a cover letter I go in and do a little research on the institution -- and frequently find myself on a "facts and figures" type page. So...instead, how about doing the same for my job search.
I present to you...
My Job Search By The Numbers
I present to you...
My Job Search By The Numbers
Days since I began applying: 161
Days until I am a “Master”: 30
Days until I really freak out if I don’t have a job: 114
Applications Put In: 19
First-Round Interview Offers: 3
Second-Round Interview Offers: 0
Positions Offered: 0 (clearly.)
Rejections/Position is Filled: 6
Positions Currently on My “To Apply” Spreadsheet: 33
Average of Apps Per Day: 0.12 apps/day
Ideal Average of Apps Per Day: 1.67 apps/day
Number of Job Agents on Higheredjobs.com: 7
States I Would Ideally Get a Job In: less than 10
States I would Take a Job In: depending on the date….more
than 50?
Ideal Salary: $38,000 - $42,000 – depends a lot on location
Minimum Salary: Anything that keeps me from living in a hut
made of Franzia boxes
Monday, April 8, 2013
Looking for Life, Love, and Laughter...and a Job #16
Oh dear oh dear oh dear. I swear I have posted in the last 2 weeks -- only once, unfortunately...but I know I wrote one last week...I wonder where it went? The mysteries of technology astound me. Or maybe I'm just losing it. Either is probably just as likely.
Anyway, apologies for my absence. I wish I could tell you I would make this one a good one to make up for it but...
So what's been going on in job search world? Well, first I can tell you that I'm getting realllllllly sick of answering that question - and I know all of our second-years are....yet every time we are hanging out with someone that we don't see all the time (which at this point is officially people I live with or work with because that's all I do...) we can't seem to ask each other anything else. And it's all the first-years ask too. And people we work with. And my parents. And my friends from home. And strangers off the street.
Okay, maybe not that last one, but I feel like I'm constantly talking about it, and the more I talk, the more freaked out I get. Maybe I've been subconsciously avoiding my digital world because I'm tired of talking about it? Haha, whatever.
Basically, no news for now. Still doing applications (though I feel guilty for not doing any over the weekend because I was focused on an assignment for school), but haven't had any interviews except for the one phone interview. Honestly I'm not that worried - I know that it's still early in the process, especially since I'm not looking at housing/res life positions. But the process seems to be starting a lot earlier in a lot of areas this year, and I'm starting to feel a little left out and anxious.
I do have some great news from people I love though! One of my roommates and one of my very best friends in the program both had wonderful on campus interviews last week and I have my fingers crossed that their phones will be ringing any moment now. On top of that, my amazing co-intern from the summer got an offer!! I am so unbelievably excited for him - it's the perfect opportunity for him-- and it means we don't have to worry about competing against each other, ha. Perfect!
On my end of things though....well, I've accepted that a vagrant life where I just travel around and hang out with all of my friends who get great jobs in cool places is also an option. Unfortunately I have far too much stuff to live in my car, so I guess if I want to keep up my shoe addiction that should be motivation to get a job. Kidding. Mostly...
Right now I'm in a frustrating place because seriously all I want to do is apply for jobs. I have a spreadsheet a mile long, and I just want to tackle it and apply apply apply apply apply. Butttttttt I have huge assignments for school and tons of work and prac projects left, and those aren't going to do themselves. I just have zero motivation to do them. I know I need to focus on finishing strong and all that jazz, but I just want to apply for jobs and hang out with friends and lay in my bed dreading the future. Is that so much to ask?
Haha, I don't mean to throw a pity party. Really things are fine. I'm hoping to start to hear back from places soon, but until then I'll keep trucking along and applying and doing my work and living the dream. I'm actually super happy right now...I have an amazing family members out accomplishing great things (my sister just got tapped for the most selective leadership honorary at our undergrad institution - I am so proud of her!!!), friends who keep me smiling and holding my head up, a new, well...no labels, but someone who makes me grin goofily all the time, work that I am passionate about, students I care about....all kinds of great things. Just yesterday a student I taught last semester asked if I would write a letter of recommendation for her, and today one of the students I advise asked if I would be a reference for her. How cool is that?!?!?
I'll close this out on a happier note -- tonight I called my grandmother since I hadn't talked to her in a while. I wanted to let her know that I dropped an invitation to my Hooding ceremony in the mail to her, and I wanted her to have it to show off (she loves showing off the accomplishments of my sister and I) even though I knew she couldn't make the drive for the ceremony. She was telling me how proud she was of me and how she knew my accomplishments now would make my Pappaw proud...he was my grandfather who passed away when I was 6, right as I finished up kindergarten. He was an educator for all of his life and a well-known high school principal in my hometown for many many years, and he was a huge influence in my life. He taught me to read before I was even in kindergarten, and I am confident that my love for learning and for educating others is driven by those few early years I had with him. She then asked me an interesting question....she asked if I thought he knew what I was doing, if he could still see us. Now, don't worry, I'm not about to expound on my spiritual views on the afterlife...instead I told her that whether or not he can see it, I do the work that I do to carry on his legacy, and I think that's the important part. That I seek to share the gift that he shared with me and so many other people. And I truly do believe that. I know it's sappy, but it's true. I hadn't really thought about how important he is to me still, and how much of an influence he has been on me. I just know that whenever I see the dogwoods blooming all over campus, I think of him.
Anyway, apologies for my absence. I wish I could tell you I would make this one a good one to make up for it but...
So what's been going on in job search world? Well, first I can tell you that I'm getting realllllllly sick of answering that question - and I know all of our second-years are....yet every time we are hanging out with someone that we don't see all the time (which at this point is officially people I live with or work with because that's all I do...) we can't seem to ask each other anything else. And it's all the first-years ask too. And people we work with. And my parents. And my friends from home. And strangers off the street.
Okay, maybe not that last one, but I feel like I'm constantly talking about it, and the more I talk, the more freaked out I get. Maybe I've been subconsciously avoiding my digital world because I'm tired of talking about it? Haha, whatever.
Basically, no news for now. Still doing applications (though I feel guilty for not doing any over the weekend because I was focused on an assignment for school), but haven't had any interviews except for the one phone interview. Honestly I'm not that worried - I know that it's still early in the process, especially since I'm not looking at housing/res life positions. But the process seems to be starting a lot earlier in a lot of areas this year, and I'm starting to feel a little left out and anxious.
I do have some great news from people I love though! One of my roommates and one of my very best friends in the program both had wonderful on campus interviews last week and I have my fingers crossed that their phones will be ringing any moment now. On top of that, my amazing co-intern from the summer got an offer!! I am so unbelievably excited for him - it's the perfect opportunity for him-- and it means we don't have to worry about competing against each other, ha. Perfect!
On my end of things though....well, I've accepted that a vagrant life where I just travel around and hang out with all of my friends who get great jobs in cool places is also an option. Unfortunately I have far too much stuff to live in my car, so I guess if I want to keep up my shoe addiction that should be motivation to get a job. Kidding. Mostly...
Right now I'm in a frustrating place because seriously all I want to do is apply for jobs. I have a spreadsheet a mile long, and I just want to tackle it and apply apply apply apply apply. Butttttttt I have huge assignments for school and tons of work and prac projects left, and those aren't going to do themselves. I just have zero motivation to do them. I know I need to focus on finishing strong and all that jazz, but I just want to apply for jobs and hang out with friends and lay in my bed dreading the future. Is that so much to ask?
Haha, I don't mean to throw a pity party. Really things are fine. I'm hoping to start to hear back from places soon, but until then I'll keep trucking along and applying and doing my work and living the dream. I'm actually super happy right now...I have an amazing family members out accomplishing great things (my sister just got tapped for the most selective leadership honorary at our undergrad institution - I am so proud of her!!!), friends who keep me smiling and holding my head up, a new, well...no labels, but someone who makes me grin goofily all the time, work that I am passionate about, students I care about....all kinds of great things. Just yesterday a student I taught last semester asked if I would write a letter of recommendation for her, and today one of the students I advise asked if I would be a reference for her. How cool is that?!?!?
I'll close this out on a happier note -- tonight I called my grandmother since I hadn't talked to her in a while. I wanted to let her know that I dropped an invitation to my Hooding ceremony in the mail to her, and I wanted her to have it to show off (she loves showing off the accomplishments of my sister and I) even though I knew she couldn't make the drive for the ceremony. She was telling me how proud she was of me and how she knew my accomplishments now would make my Pappaw proud...he was my grandfather who passed away when I was 6, right as I finished up kindergarten. He was an educator for all of his life and a well-known high school principal in my hometown for many many years, and he was a huge influence in my life. He taught me to read before I was even in kindergarten, and I am confident that my love for learning and for educating others is driven by those few early years I had with him. She then asked me an interesting question....she asked if I thought he knew what I was doing, if he could still see us. Now, don't worry, I'm not about to expound on my spiritual views on the afterlife...instead I told her that whether or not he can see it, I do the work that I do to carry on his legacy, and I think that's the important part. That I seek to share the gift that he shared with me and so many other people. And I truly do believe that. I know it's sappy, but it's true. I hadn't really thought about how important he is to me still, and how much of an influence he has been on me. I just know that whenever I see the dogwoods blooming all over campus, I think of him.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
A Wish Your Heart Makes 14
Well hellloooo!!
The countdown begins and the angst sets in, hhaa. I think my body has finally had enough of the not eating right, not sleeping at all, stressful environment fun and is succumbing to some sort of bug. Fun times. At least it is hitting me after I have finished my comps and my first on campus interview. So yay, for silver linings.
And about that on campus interview.
I had an incredible time, which is not what I was expecting to come away saying. My on campus is for a job that I was initially reluctant to apply for. It IS in a field that I want to go into but there were parts of the job that I thought I would not enjoy. I was encouraged to apply by a current staff member and after a little informational interviewing, I felt confident enough to submit my materials. I am really excited about this job which is pretty scary for me. I hate let downs and I like preparing for the worst, so I'm reluctant to admit how much this job feels like a good fit and how thrilled I would be if I landed it. I'll give a little rundown of the day, how I prepared, what I learned, and all that jazz.
The day:
It was an all day interview at my current campus so there wasn't any intense traveling involved. Here was the flow:
- Greet search committee chair, ask/answer any prep questions/prepare presentation
- Give presentation: I gave a 10 minute presentation to about half of the staff on my work with college students and then answered questions for about another 30 minutes
- Meet with search committee: Went through the traditional interview song and dance while "being myself" and trying to answer questions without sounding like a toolbag or dud.
- Tour of Campus: Fun stuff
- Lunch with students: This was great and by far my favorite part. It was relaxed but, you know, still an interview
- Wrap up with search committee member: Exhausted but still trying to be perky, ask good questions, and not say anything spazzy.
-Home-sweatpants- sleeeeep.
So how did I prepare:
Fortunately my graduate program does a series for second years on the job search. We had just done a session on interviewing so I had some helpful worksheets on how to craft examples of my skills and experience and good follow up questions. I had done my research on the job, the institution and the culture so I felt really comfortable navigating those questions. I can't stress how important it is to have concrete examples from your experiences. It helped me to write a list of them so I wasn't scrambling around for the same old crusty story when I had to talk about how I managed stress, or planned my time. Here is a technique we used: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Situation,_Task,_Action,_Result
I had a skype sess with my mentor and she gave me some great questions to consider and helped talk me through some of my experiences, successes and challenges. I also crafted my responses to those tricky questions like "what is your weakness." I wanted to be honest AND I WAS but I also think it's important to talk about how you work on your weaknesses. Like saying "I'm not the most detail oriented person so I try to make sure I communicate that to my team and work with people who may be stronger in that area when working on a project, blah blah blah. I didn't want to sound too rehearsed but I also wanted to avoid rambling. It's a fine line but achievable.
I don't mind presenting so it wasn't the scary part for me. I was given a topic and I tried to incorporate my philosophies on college student development and examples from my past experiences. I think it went well.
Most of the interview was just me being me, but a more polished version. I really did feel like I could be myself which helped me feel it was a good fit. I made sure to follow up a few hours after with emails to the search committee letting them know how much I enjoyed my day and included my list of references. I got the timeline and I'll keep an ear out for the phone. eeeeek.
So that was that, first on campus done. I really started freaking out in the final moments about stuff like what I should wear and what theme I should use for my powerpoint. I will advise you to breath and have someone that you can ask advice from wether it be a mentor, colleague or cohort buddy. It felt like preparing for a research paper and I think that prep allowed me to feel more confident and collected and I could really let my personality shine through.
So that's it for now, good luck with all that stuff you probably have going on. Be back with updates from my life sooooon.
Until Next Time,
The countdown begins and the angst sets in, hhaa. I think my body has finally had enough of the not eating right, not sleeping at all, stressful environment fun and is succumbing to some sort of bug. Fun times. At least it is hitting me after I have finished my comps and my first on campus interview. So yay, for silver linings.
And about that on campus interview.
I had an incredible time, which is not what I was expecting to come away saying. My on campus is for a job that I was initially reluctant to apply for. It IS in a field that I want to go into but there were parts of the job that I thought I would not enjoy. I was encouraged to apply by a current staff member and after a little informational interviewing, I felt confident enough to submit my materials. I am really excited about this job which is pretty scary for me. I hate let downs and I like preparing for the worst, so I'm reluctant to admit how much this job feels like a good fit and how thrilled I would be if I landed it. I'll give a little rundown of the day, how I prepared, what I learned, and all that jazz.
The day:
It was an all day interview at my current campus so there wasn't any intense traveling involved. Here was the flow:
- Greet search committee chair, ask/answer any prep questions/prepare presentation
- Give presentation: I gave a 10 minute presentation to about half of the staff on my work with college students and then answered questions for about another 30 minutes
- Meet with search committee: Went through the traditional interview song and dance while "being myself" and trying to answer questions without sounding like a toolbag or dud.
- Tour of Campus: Fun stuff
- Lunch with students: This was great and by far my favorite part. It was relaxed but, you know, still an interview
- Wrap up with search committee member: Exhausted but still trying to be perky, ask good questions, and not say anything spazzy.
-Home-sweatpants- sleeeeep.
So how did I prepare:
Fortunately my graduate program does a series for second years on the job search. We had just done a session on interviewing so I had some helpful worksheets on how to craft examples of my skills and experience and good follow up questions. I had done my research on the job, the institution and the culture so I felt really comfortable navigating those questions. I can't stress how important it is to have concrete examples from your experiences. It helped me to write a list of them so I wasn't scrambling around for the same old crusty story when I had to talk about how I managed stress, or planned my time. Here is a technique we used: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Situation,_Task,_Action,_Result
I had a skype sess with my mentor and she gave me some great questions to consider and helped talk me through some of my experiences, successes and challenges. I also crafted my responses to those tricky questions like "what is your weakness." I wanted to be honest AND I WAS but I also think it's important to talk about how you work on your weaknesses. Like saying "I'm not the most detail oriented person so I try to make sure I communicate that to my team and work with people who may be stronger in that area when working on a project, blah blah blah. I didn't want to sound too rehearsed but I also wanted to avoid rambling. It's a fine line but achievable.
I don't mind presenting so it wasn't the scary part for me. I was given a topic and I tried to incorporate my philosophies on college student development and examples from my past experiences. I think it went well.
Most of the interview was just me being me, but a more polished version. I really did feel like I could be myself which helped me feel it was a good fit. I made sure to follow up a few hours after with emails to the search committee letting them know how much I enjoyed my day and included my list of references. I got the timeline and I'll keep an ear out for the phone. eeeeek.
So that was that, first on campus done. I really started freaking out in the final moments about stuff like what I should wear and what theme I should use for my powerpoint. I will advise you to breath and have someone that you can ask advice from wether it be a mentor, colleague or cohort buddy. It felt like preparing for a research paper and I think that prep allowed me to feel more confident and collected and I could really let my personality shine through.
So that's it for now, good luck with all that stuff you probably have going on. Be back with updates from my life sooooon.
Until Next Time,
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
A Wish Your Heart Makes 13
I feel really bad for falling off the face of the earth.
March madness does not even begin to explain the tumultuous nature of this month as I'm sure many of you have experienced.
I went to my first NASPA and had an amazing time. I was surprised at how many people I reconnected with. It was a great learning experience as well. I mean, I thought that with school and such my brain would be a little burnt out. But I appreciated the real world examples and the applicability of the session content.
I am really looking forward to NASPA Baltimore. I also hope to get more involved with NASPA during my career. Our profession is filled with some great individuals and it was powerful to be connected to that for a few days.
Of course I came back to The Real World: Grad School and was thrown into comps/job search bonanza. I didn't do TPE so I was momentarily spared from the intensity of emotions surrounding that event. But once I rounded the bend of my comps, the stark horizon of my future became glaringly clear. Graduation was coming and a job needed to be found!!!! I have my first on campus tomorrow and I'm trying to prepare for it without being too anxiety prone.
It's hard for me to allow myself to really want something. I worry to much to feel peaceful with that type of emotion. Negative thoughts start to cloud my thinking and I ponder over if I am even qualified or if I can even do the job well. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy.
That's why I have found it so helpful to have a cadre of cheerleaders who spur me on to believe in myself and achieve impossible things. One activity a mentor convinced me to do was to write down my accomplishments and areas where I have made an impact. It sounds cheesy but it definitely lifts the spirits. I mean these are things you have already done to prove yourself and these are examples you can use in future interviews. So it is both uplifting and productive.
This can also help when considering if you should apply for a position. I think it's really easy to forget how awesome we all are. If you don't have anyone reminding you, then take a cue from my mentor and start your list of awesome things you've done. And then imagine yourself in the position, making those things a reality again and again. It has also helped me when thinking of questions to ask at the interview. It shows I've really engaged with the position and thought about it.
I hope to give you a positive report of my on campus interviewing lessons learned by the end of the week. Good luck with your searches and for rounding the bend of an incredible experience.
Here's some Disney love.
Until Next Time,
March madness does not even begin to explain the tumultuous nature of this month as I'm sure many of you have experienced.
I went to my first NASPA and had an amazing time. I was surprised at how many people I reconnected with. It was a great learning experience as well. I mean, I thought that with school and such my brain would be a little burnt out. But I appreciated the real world examples and the applicability of the session content.
I am really looking forward to NASPA Baltimore. I also hope to get more involved with NASPA during my career. Our profession is filled with some great individuals and it was powerful to be connected to that for a few days.
Of course I came back to The Real World: Grad School and was thrown into comps/job search bonanza. I didn't do TPE so I was momentarily spared from the intensity of emotions surrounding that event. But once I rounded the bend of my comps, the stark horizon of my future became glaringly clear. Graduation was coming and a job needed to be found!!!! I have my first on campus tomorrow and I'm trying to prepare for it without being too anxiety prone.
It's hard for me to allow myself to really want something. I worry to much to feel peaceful with that type of emotion. Negative thoughts start to cloud my thinking and I ponder over if I am even qualified or if I can even do the job well. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy.
That's why I have found it so helpful to have a cadre of cheerleaders who spur me on to believe in myself and achieve impossible things. One activity a mentor convinced me to do was to write down my accomplishments and areas where I have made an impact. It sounds cheesy but it definitely lifts the spirits. I mean these are things you have already done to prove yourself and these are examples you can use in future interviews. So it is both uplifting and productive.
This can also help when considering if you should apply for a position. I think it's really easy to forget how awesome we all are. If you don't have anyone reminding you, then take a cue from my mentor and start your list of awesome things you've done. And then imagine yourself in the position, making those things a reality again and again. It has also helped me when thinking of questions to ask at the interview. It shows I've really engaged with the position and thought about it.
I hope to give you a positive report of my on campus interviewing lessons learned by the end of the week. Good luck with your searches and for rounding the bend of an incredible experience.
Here's some Disney love.
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