Looking for Life, Love, and Laughter...And a Job #15

Hi everyone!

So, it's been a whirlwind since NASPA - apologies for the lack of posting! Here's some updates for you all...

I guess I should start with NASPA...it's kind of a big deal. I don't know that I can really summarize the experience accurately, but I'll do my best. I am so unbelievably happy I went; it truly was an amazing conference. First, I was very impressed by the selection of keynote speakers, particularly Dustin Lance Black. Him, combined with the central presence of a gender neutral restroom and the inclusion of PGP stickers with registration to put on our namebadges, really made a statement about the importance of LGBTQ issues within NASPA, and I was very excited to see that. Obviously there's always work to be done, but it was very refreshing.

Second, I definitely tailored my experience to focus on LGBTQ issues, and it was totally worth it. The sessions were very well put together, and there was a range of program topics even within my focus on LGBTQ issues. A cool side aspect...I totally felt like a celebrity a few times - I know, totally nerdy, but it was kind of cool. The LGBTQ student affairs world is small, and I presented on my summer internship project at another conference -- and then folks recognized me from it and asked about it and whatnot. It was very, very cool. It was also great to network with tons of new folks, including tons of other queer grads from across the country. I definitely need to grab my stack of business cards and start following up.

Third, though I've always felt that I'm far too introverted for conferences and that I'm terrible at networking, I think I actually did okay. I met a ton of new people, and collected/passed out lots of cards. It was so great to have conversations with such a range of cool folks doing different things in different places. By Tuesday evening I was pretty much completely exhausted and not ready to meet anyone else...fitting, since the session I ended up going to on Wednesday morning was on being an introvert in student affairs ;) Overall though, I think I'm learning.

Finally, I just really appreciated the opportunity to see so many people who care about generally the same things. The whole conference was a reminder of why and how I ended up in this field, and how excited I am to move forward. I connected with a colleague from undergrad, learned so many new things, and generally got some fire back in me about the work I and so many others are doing. The job search + work + school + everything else can really wear on you, so it was nice to have a reminder to bring back why I'm doing what I'm doing.

So, that's NASPA. Overall, very positive. The drive back...not so much. 1500 miles in just over a week was far too much time in the car. We were a little loony by the time we finally made it back.

Since returning...well, it's been crazy. Getting back to work, trying to clean out my inbox, writing a 10 page paper, preparing for a huge social justice program on campus that I'm co-running....all in a day's work, right?  No. Totally exhausted right now.

I will say that the social justice program I am working on/running right now came together amazingly, and I'm so excited to see the overall outcomes. I'm sure I'll chat more about it later on, but for now I kind of want to turn my brain off.

As for jobs - starting hearing back from a few! Unfortunately, 2 were rejections....one I wasn't surprised by - I really don't have the experience they are looking for. The other was kind of silly - I didn't get through HR because I don't have my Master's yet...even though I will have it before the start date? And the HR department said I could reapply after I get my Master's if the position isn't filled yet? So strange. But I got put through to the hiring committee at one location, and I have plenty more I need to sit down and apply for once I make it through this week!

So, I'm going to wrap this one up for now -- enjoy :) Chat again soon!

Looking for Life, Love, and Laughter...and a Job #14

Hi!

Quick update for everyone! I survived my trip to the beach and am safely ensconced in my hotel room at NASPA :) Hooray!

The beach was great - very sunny. A little too sunny, as I am now totally sunburned. I suppose if you see peel-y face Rudolph girl hanging out at the conference you may guess who I am. Hopefully it will fade quickly though. It was relaxing to just spend time with friends, cook, sleep, and read...for fun! Ahh!!

We just registered and everything this morning and are ready to go - my roomies and I will be hitting up the First-Time Attendees session this afternoon and going from there. Last night we had dinner with two of our friends/cohort-mates who have been going through TPE....they are AMAZING and I know they will get rocking jobs -- but ooo TPE did not sound like a fun process. Way too overwhelming for me. But it's nice to hear about their experiences and learn some of the crazy questions they have been asked.

So, here we go...NASPA! If you think you meet me, feel free to ask ;) It can be like Gossip Girl, student affairs style. I'm hoping to meet lots of cool folks, including folks from some of the institutions I have been applying to. I already had an exciting moment this morning when I ran into a colleague I met during my summer internship and we had a second to catch up! I felt so....legitimate? Ha. It was great though, and I hope for many, many more.

If you have NASPA advice you want to share, post some comments for me. Also, maybe I'll run into my blog co-author! Hello "Wish Your Heart Makes"! I found this and thought of you and your (and my) love for Disney, so I wanted to share with you: What It's Like to Be in College, as Told by our Favorite Disney Characters. I would love to actually meet you if we can figure that out!

I may not have a chance to update again until I get back, so ta-ta for now. Enjoy the conference if you're here :)

A Wish Your Heart Makes 12

Woah! Woah! Woah!

I know I disappeared off the earth, I mean, in case anyone was wondering (crickets.)

Well I got a little sidetracked with school, comps, and the rest of my life and the days flew by faster than I could imagine. Yet, my job search has not halted.

I recently applied for a job that I would really love. I think. I have a hard time letting myself believe or think that I really want it. Probably, as a protective coping mechanism in the event that I don't get it. So I struggle back and forth with allowing myself to truly want it.

I'm currently sitting in the aiport awaiting a plane that will take me to warm sunny Orlando for NASPA. This will be my first big student affairs conference and I'm looking forward to all the hooplah. I'm also looking forward to sun, pools and good conversations. I don't really have any high hopes for this weekend. It truly snuck up on me. I'm excited about connecting with some professionals I haven't seen in a while. I'm also excited about meeting people in the field and feeling that oh so wonderful feeling that I am apart of something larger than both myself and my immediate community.

 So I guess those are my hopes.

I have no nuggets of wisdom, but wanted to give a check in. I also found this article which I thought was useful and wanted to share. http://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/outside-voices-careers/2013/03/11/how-to-keep-your-sanity-while-job-hunting

The aiport internet is slow and I only have 30 minutes, eeee. So no disney song, but a perfect opportunity to use your disney imaginations.

Until Next Time.

Looking for Life, Love, and Laughter...and a Job #13

Happy Friday, blog world! TGIF for real.

I applied for another job! Yay! Haha, I know I really should have been like "I applied for 20 jobs!" but...no. Maybe next time.

It's the start to spring break on my campus - I had pretty much forgotten that fact and when I went out to a meeting a few minutes ago I couldn't understand why so many students were walking around with luggage. My, my, how things change in a couple of years. I remember my senior year of undergrad...SBXI squared (2011)...months of planning went into spring break planning with my sorority sisters. New outfits were purchased, money was saved up, and adventures were planned. Now, just 2 short years later, I forget that spring break is even happening.

I am pretty excited though! Tuesday I set out for Florida with the ladies from my Comps Group for a little R-n-R-n-JA (rest, relaxation, and job applications) at the beach for a few days, and then we are driving down to Orlando for NASPA! Woohoo, NASPA time! I am really excited, but also pretty nervous. This will be my first national student affairs conference, and it's hard to really know what to expect. I'm lucky that my whole Comps Group will be there, so I have folks to help me through it. For instance, I have to have the one of the more stylish girls in the group come approve all my outfits before packing. Gotta look cute and classy ;)

I am looking forward to learning a lot and hopefully meeting lots of new folks. It will be a great experience overall.

So, I may be on a short hiatus over the next week or two. Sorry! I'll try to post next week when I'm in the midst of sun (hopefully) and job apps (definitely), and then hopefully my hotel at NASPA will have internet! But during all of this I will be feverishly planning a large campus event that happens less than a week after I return, and trying to do a major assignment for one of my classes. So much going on! All I want to do is crawl in my cocoon of a bed, ha.

So, that's life right now. Enjoy your weekend, friends. And I'm sure I'll see some of you at NASPA....except you'll never know it's me :)

Looking for Life, Love, and Laughter...and a Job #12

Where to begin, where to begin? You know that's never a good way to start.

So, goal = not met. I applied for 2 positions last week, and will do some more this week.....I blame getting sick over the weekend for not being successful. I felt super sick every time I ate anything, so I was just really off all weekend. So....oops.

I do have an ever growing spreadsheet that is constantly taunting me and making me feel guilty. And friends who are doing the same for me.

Life right now is...complicated? It feels that way at least. Personal things always crop up when least expected/when they are least convenient, right? That's how I'm feeling though. But it's also really good. I feel surrounded by love lately.

I really don't think I have that much to say to y'all right now....I feel like I should be stalking institutions that I'm applying to and figuring out how to make my cover letter align with their mission statement without sounding like a stalker. Not sounding like a stalker is probably helpful in this whole getting a job thing.

Basically, it's going to take complete fear to really get me on this thing. And I'm getting very close to that, especially realizing how much school work I have left for the semester. The end of my semester is loaded down...and by that I really mean from Spring Break onward. And Spring Break is next week. Fantastic. I had a mini panic attack waking up this morning....that is not a feeling that I miss. To explain a little...last spring I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder/general depression. That's probably not what you're expecting a future student affairs professional to be saying, and I really don't talk about it often, so consider yourselves lucky. I do think it's important to talk about though; we assume that everyone has this particular personality and comfort with things, and it's not always the case. Anyway, I'm happy to have had an amazing support system during the process, and I'm happy to say that I'm doing about a million times better than this time last year.

So...why did I bring it up? Right. The panic attack. Well, when I get overwhelmed I can get a little paralyzed, and I felt that way a bit when thinking about the amount of schoolwork I have left for the semester, on top of everything else. But I can handle it. I know that. I think right now is just really difficult for me because I've learned that uncertainty is one of my "triggers" if you will. So this whole graduating in May and having no clue where I'll be by July or August is really challenging for me. I also know how hard it was to move here and have to "start over" and I'm not looking forward to doing it again, though I think I've discussed that before on here.

Anyway, I feel better sharing that. It's a constant challenge, but what's life without challenge?

Speaking of challenge....my roommate has laid down the gauntlet in our house. My other roommate was a little intimidated...

hasta la vista!

A Wish Your Heart Makes 11

I'm having a quarter life crisis.

Google it or ask Siri or use context clues to figure it out because it is real and it is happening.

I thought maybe I was experiencing senioritis or some form of final semester denial of responsibility process.  I have been on this rollercoaster of feeling sad, feeling hopeful, feeling scared/anxious and feeling nothing. "Oh gosh," my subconscious yells to me in the wee hours of the night "is this what our life has become."

Once enamored with the thought of drowning my Saturday in a pile of Inside Higher Ed articles, I can barely get through an article about anything related to student development, higher ed or social justice (shh, don't tell anyone). I find myself skipping back and forth between pinterets, linkedin and facebook as if I'm on a spirit journey in search of the meaning of life. I literally can't do anything remotely productive. I have been told to apply for a job that I am genuinely interested and I simply can't get past the line "Dear FILL IN." My brain is tired.

I am beginning to realize that I haven't been so intensely and intently focused on one topic the way I have been in graduate school. Is it bad that I feel a little tired of talking about developing the next generation of leaders before I've even felt incompetent in my first job. I am feeling a little nostalgia for the person I was before graduate school. I had depth, I knew what was going on in the world, I didn't cry every day, I ate well balanced meals. My friends all had different interests and I wasn't trapped in a two year process with people who I cared deeply about but who I knew way too much about it and I was literally tired of. I feel like I want to just crawl out of my existence and go do something else.

I'm not sure what act of God will push me into momentum again. I have to keep giving myself pep talks just to get through the job search process "okay, do it even though you don't feel like it." "Okay, you can eat a cookie after you finish..."

So I guess...the point of this post is...I'm scared of the future? I used to be a very religious person but that waned and almost disappeared as a rounded the home base of my college career. Yet, the remnants of my religious upbringing still wriggle themselves to the surface now and then. I was reminded of this last night when I woke up to Joel Olsteen on the television. My instinct was to turn away as his teeth tend to give me nightmares about being eaten alive. But he started talking about the difference between living our lives out of faith and living our lives out of fear. I think something within me sighed and felt a tinge of relief because I put down the remote and just listened. I came away being reminded that we project our lives into reality, although some to most things are undoubtedly out of our control. But I really needed to dial back the anxiety station blaring in my head because I was paralyzing myself from moving forward. I was literally shocked into doing nothing because I am realizing I have no control over what comes next and it is literally scaring the fruit snacks out of me.

I am also just feeling pathetic and maybe a little shallow which reminds me that I need more in my life than my job and all this student affairs stuff. I need literature and art and good food and people. These all consuming processes of looking for jobs, finishing my comps, finishing grad school and fantasizing about the elusive night of sleep have really reminded me that there is truly more to life.

I have to remember to search for that too.

Until next time,