Wednesday, February 13, 2013

A Wish Your Heart Makes 8


Sometimes I get really scared I’m not going to get a job. This idea is ridiculous for several reasons but it still emerges.

I also get scared that the job I get won’t be the right fit for me, or I will suck at it, or it will be some other kind of disaster. The reality is that it may very well be many of these things, but I can change my mind and move on.

In many ways, graduating from grad school feels like the end of the world. But what is that old cliché saying “every ending is just a beginning…” So I guess the finality of all of this is coupled with fresh opportunities awaiting me after graduation.

My job search over the past few weeks has been a little wonky. I’m super superstitious and I fear talking about it can negatively alter my job karma but I can say this. 1. Network, network, network. You never know who will be the person to connect you to your new job. No one goes it alone, especially in the job search and so it is important to have people on your side who can advocate for you. And 2. Be clear with folks about what you need. And by folks I mean future employers or possible future employers.

Applying to jobs can be really daunting. I mean, it’s sort of annoying to have to fill out those pesky applications on college websites where they ask you a million questions, have you fill out details of all of your degree and education experience, and still require you to sell your life through a cover letter and resume. I feel much more interested in finding different ways to eat bacon.

Yet, I need to find a job. I want to find a job. I have a whole life of skills and experience and I want to use them to support something bigger than myself. I’m really torn right now because I’m in the process of applying to a job that I would really love, am confident that I would be a final candidate and the job would put me on a path to what I hope to do in the future and I am in a job that could turn into a full time position that I could love. I should say that I am horrible with making decisions and even though I have no solid job offers the thought of having to decide between options, if it comes to that, is enough to send me into a sort of paralysis. If different opportunities ended up working out it would be a good problem to have but, ugh, can I hire a part time decision maker that can predict the future and just tell me what to do?? Having to consider all of my variables, understand my deal breakers, know what salary I deserve, and feel confident enough to pursue a job opportunity I want all seem like enough of a struggle to deal with at this point.

And I guess I have to remind myself that this is something I get to do, not just something I have to do. I am really fortunate to have pursued a degree that I love, been connected to a really supportive community of friends, family, and professionals,  and know that my life will be substantially better because I have an education. Through my application materials I am able to redefine my interest, articulate my passions, and apply to jobs that are truly meaningful to me. I get to engage in the job search. I have to keep reminding myself that life is very unpredictable and not everything is a given. Back to the grind.

To all those that are getting a little exasperated, you can go the distance. Believe in your own self worth.


Until next time,

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