Hello world!
Sorry, meant to post this one yesterday for everyone (if
there’s an “everyone” out there reading this), but my computer went wonky on
me. So here we go.
There’s not a lot to report from this week. I haven’t
applied for anything new, nor have I heard anything from where I applied last
weekend. I will most likely meet their folks this week at Creating Change, so
that should be interesting.
I have a list of about 30 positions I want to do more
research on/apply for, but zero motivation to do it right now. Now that classes
are fully underway I am definitely feeling the stress from them, plus trying to
seriously study for comps. They are now less than three weeks away, and I feel
like I know NOTHING. Not a good feeling. I know that everything will come
together and we will pass, but there’s just a lot of studying between now and
then.
Honestly, it’s been a really rough week. I’m not sure why
exactly, but I’ve been feeling very down about things, and a little bitter. Let
me see if I can list a few of the things that have been bugging me….
- - You know how sometimes you can know something,
but as long as you don’t acknowledge it, it’s not as big a deal? Well, I had
that moment this week where I had to acknowledge, and it’s no good. One of my
fields of interest will have very few positions available, and I know some of
the folks I will be competing against for those jobs. Competition is not my
thing. Also, I revisited the feelings of frustration I have had over my
professional experiences I have had while working on my Master’s degree.
Basically, I don’t have as much experience as I need/want simply because of
politics in the department. It’s so frustrating to know, and even more
frustrating that I tried EVERYTHING to work it out, but it just didn’t. So now
I’m competing with folks with much more experience…so do I even have a chance?
- - The other thing that has been really bugging me
lately has to do with a close friend of mine. He is probably one of the
strongest grads in our program, and he’s amazing in his assistantship. Not to
go into too many details, but he’s recently been through a job search situation
that has been absolutely INSANE. The institution has basically done everything
that you should NEVER do when trying to hire a candidate. It’s been very
disheartening to watch (obviously it’s been even worse for him going through
it), and it’s made me even more aware of how important institutional fit is for
me. It’s a terrifying aspect of the job search – not only finding a position
that fits my interests and that I actually get offered, but making sure it’s at
an institution with values that align with my own – and they actually live out
their values. So many variables.
- - A little bit of everything else would sum up my
other bitterness/frustration, ha. There are never enough hours in the day, and
I’m having a hard time prioritizing at this point. Everything is important! I
need to be hitting the gym, and I know I will feel better if I do, but by the
time I finish a 12 or 14 hour day I really just want to go to bed. Also, my
relationship has been a bit rocky lately. And I miss my family. I get homesick
every so often…and this is one of those times.
Anyway, sorry for the complaining fest, but I just needed to
get it all out there. Hopefully this upcoming week will bring the sunshine and
whatnot back ;) And I’m going to Creating Change! So excited!!
No comments:
Post a Comment