In times of stress I always return to my strongholds of self-care:
Disney movies and songs. It may be the nostalgia of childhood and memories of
much calmer, simpler times or maybe the upbeat tunes that remind me life
doesn’t have to be so heavy. Either way when my world starts to crash in I head
straight to the comforting arms of my favorite Disney princes and princesses
and loveable sidekick animals. Yes, I am just a few short years away from 30.
Yes, I am on the verge of getting my masters degree. Get over it. Because as
stressful and exhausting as graduate school has been, I am on the verge of the
pinnacle of death con 5 stress: the job search.
I took a few years off after finishing undergrad. I left the
sandy beaches of my hometown and decided to plant myself in an urban jungle in
the Northeast. I wanted to explore my interests in nonprofits and anti-poverty
work. I loved my work but still felt a little lost about where my career was
headed. I found that I thoroughly enjoyed working with our college student
volunteers. Coupled with my growing belief that education was the great
equalizer in our society, I decided I should pursue a career in higher
education. I wanted to work with others to create a more equitable higher
education system that would ensure access and success for every student. Cue
the Miss America theme song. It all feels very lofty and idealistic now but I
still feel very strongly about that goal. I spent a year working at a
university before beginning the graduate school search. I wasn’t sure what I
would find, considering I was still wishy washy about a career in student
affairs. Yet, when I finally found my graduate program it was truly a match
made in heaven. I was accepted but without an assistantship. I knew this was
the program that would best prepare me for the career I wanted so I pushed and
pleaded until I wrangled a spot in the program. I’ve managed to pull together
opportunities across campus while immersing myself in my academics and
literature from the field always with my eyes on what career path would await
me after graduation. Many of my passions and interests have continued to
evolve, and I have also gained the skills and knowledge to become the most
competent professional I can be. And even though all of this was done to get me
to this point, on the verge of the beginning of my career, I continue to be
plagued by doubts and concerns over where I should focus my energies in the job
search. Will it be nonprofits or institutions of higher education? Policy work,
consultancy work, or traditional roles within a higher education institution?
Is my perfect job out there? Do I have the skills for it? Will I have to
settle?
So I return to one of my favorite Disney songs, Just around
the river bend.
What I love most about rivers
is:
You can't step in the same
river twice
The water's always changing,
always flowing
But people, I guess, can't
live like that
We all must pay a price
To be safe, we lose our chance
of ever knowing
What's around the riverbend
Waiting just around the
riverbend
Just as Pocahontas
sat on the verge of two very different paths, I too look at the landscape of
career options and consider what the best path would be. I desperately want to
try something out of the box like working in a foundation focused on innovation
in higher education or analyzing policies related to college access and
financial aid. Yet, I also think I could enjoy working one on one with students
in a career advising or academic advising role or developing strategic
recruitment plans in an admissions office. One would require me to stretch
myself a little bit and prepare for a learning curve while the other would feel
familiar yet, maybe a little, constricting as I wouldn’t be able to work on the
larger system issues that I’m drawn to. And while I have never been one to shy
away from packing up and moving at a moment’s notice, I now feel more
interested in settling and developing roots and community of my own. I don’t
want to give this decision more weight than it deserves, but I really do feel
that I am looking for myself while looking for a job.
This song also
comforts me in knowing that this one job is not the only job I will ever have.
My passions and interests will always continue to evolve and I am able and have
permission to change my mind should I find I am not in right place. The world
is full of possibilities and I deserve to be happy and fulfilled in my future.
I worry about being
too safe but am confident that at the end of this, my dream job will propel me
into a future I could have never imagined on my own. Here is to the adventure
of a lifetime and to whatever lies just beyond my grad school graduation, just
beyond the river bend.
Until Next Time
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